A Blog to keep track of how I am feeling day to day, and what I am up to.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

A Good Day All Told

Overall, today has been a pretty good day, and I go to bed tonight feeling quite positive.

After getting up earlyish - thanks postie ;o) - I have managed to stay up all day without too much problem at all. I have not really felt like a snooze on the sofa at any point really, and I am now going to bed at a better time.

I went out to get my Christmas cards hand delivered around near where my parents live as planned, stopped in for lunch, and walked back with them as I they were going into town. I still miss my MP3 player when I am out and about like that - I wish it would get fixed and be back to me soon. Being without it has really made going out for a walk far less appealing; I am not a big fan of exercise for the sake of it, but having some music makes it more enjoyable. I know since it broke I have spent far more time at home by myself which is clearly a bad thing.

The rest of the day has been OK - I tidied up a bit more, and did my washing up, and watched the A1GP qualifying - same old teams at the front!

I then spent the evening chatting to James, Rick and AJ online while posting the DVDP forum, watching X-Factor and the Boxing. It has been an enjoyable evening all told, although the Audley Harrison vs. Danny Williams fight was a complete joke. What happened to the AH from the Olympics in 2000 - he did nothing all fight except hang on for dear life looking terrified. Not that DW did much to win it either. Rounds 10 and 11 were good, but before that it was terminally dull, and after they were barely able to stand up they were so tired. I can't see either being World Champion even in what is a pretty poor category at he moment. At least Amir Khan put on another stunning performance - lets hope he learns how not to have a professional career after the Olympics from AH!!

I am really pleased that I spent the time to put my thoughts about this Blog down earlier. It took some time, and effort to do so. But I have a clearer picture in my mind of how this can help. I still can't decide on whether to give access to my family and friends. I guess I need to give it a few more days thought...

Tomorrow's high point for me is BBC Sport's Personality of the Year. I love the show and I will be gutted if Ellen MacArthur does not win this year. No doubt I will be screaming at the TV when all of Britain's motor-racing champions are ignored to talk about Jenson Buttons crappy season in F1.

I invited my parents round for a meal, and to watch it, but they have declined as my Mum can't sit for 2 hours without something to do, and wants to get on with her quilt. They invited me there, but I can't stand watching a widescreen programme on a 4:3 TV and so losing loads of the picture. I am disappointed, but I guess I can't complain - each excuse is as bad as the other!

I am annoyed with myself about the tidying & washing up and it's link to inviting my parents for dinner. I definitely wanted them to come, but I know in my heart that one of the reasons for the invite is that it will give me the kick up the arse (that I know I need) to get my house tidied and my washing up done. I can live happily in my house when it is a complete tip - junk everywhere, washing up not done etc. - but I hate it when someone comes around and sees the house like that. I can hardly ever motivate myself to tidy and clean up for myself, to be in a clean house. I like it when my house is clean, but it does not bother me enough to do the tidying for just my own benefit. So occasionally I end up inviting people around to force myself to clean - as well as wanting to see them. It is pathetic, yet I do it again and again. As I said I wanted my parents to come tomorrow night, but I also know that if I had not asked them the washing up would still be in the sink, and the tidying I did would not have been done.

I think it highlights my complete lack of self motivation at the moment - if I am doing something only for me, I will as soon not do it. I need to force an external trigger to get moving - but if someone else forces that trigger, it has the complete opposite effect - I don't want to be pushed, I need to do things when I am ready, not when someone else thinks I should. It is twisted mess...

OK, enough for today...


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